Monday, 28 February 2011

The "I'm Feeling Sorry For Myself But This Is How I'm Going To Make It Better" Blog

It's exactly what the title suggests Ladies and Gents, so prepare to be bored. I'm gonna try not to be too self indulgent - to be honest, I have hardly anything to whinge about, love my job, friends and family. But everyone always has something, even if it's a little thing, in their lives which they are dissatisfied by. And personally, I can't even put my finger on what it is that I'm unhappy about!

But that doesn't mean I'm gonna just sit back and not bother to care!

I turn 24 on Friday. Now, I'm not a half-glass-empty kinda person, but I have my moments. For example:
  • I have never been abroad
  • I've never even been north of bloody Birmingham
  • I can't drive
  • I've never done an "all-nighter"
  • I've never been a student or done the student thing
But on the flip side:
  • At the age of 18 I was made guardian of my (then) 14 year old brother (and handled it pretty God damn well even if I do say so myself)
  • I've never been unemployed for longer then a couple of weeks
  • I've lived independantly from my parents since I was 18
  • I have an amazing relationship with each member of my immediate family
  • I've never had a fight :D
But as always, I focus on the negatives.

So instead of New Years Resolutions, I'm making New Me Resolutions. They'll probably last just as long (2 days) but what the hell, it gives me something to aim for.

I'm not even intending to set anything like, "Give Up Smoking" Bollocks to that, I enjoy smoking. I know it's bad for me, but it's one of my only vices so I'm gonna let myself have it. I just want to know that I'm trying to be a happier person. Everyday I want to do something either creative or new. Whether it's try a food I've never had before, find a new band to obsess over, go somewhere different, draw a picture, write more of my story, whatever - I just want to achieve something every day. Otherwise whats the point?

The other side of this is image.

Years ago, any one could have gone out with the intention of buying me clothes, jewellery etc, and thought "That's very Leigh" But not so much anymore. I feel like I've lost a sense of what I am. Especially when I look at other girls the same age, or younger, who look so confident and happy with themselves and their identity.

So thats another thing to change.


1 comment:

Kat said...

Why don't you make a Day Zero list - Also known as 101 in 1001 lists

Give you something to do over 1001 days rather than something new every day. xx

I cant drive either,
Ive been abroad but not since I was younger than 10
Ive never been further north than Stratford Upon Avon
Not been a student either

Maybe we should take a trip to Scotland :)